How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
