im about as happy as oj after his trial
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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