yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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