It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
