You really coming over, don't trick.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize