ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
