happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
