Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
