drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
