yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
