we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
