my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
