I want to make a zoo with you.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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