it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
