Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
