she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
