Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
