yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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