no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
