3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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