Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
