I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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