you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
