i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
