Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
