i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize