i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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