I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
