It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
