she was so not down for the gang bang
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Naked. naked and bneed help.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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