Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
