when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm sobbing to NWA
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
