Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
