Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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