Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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