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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
