i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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