You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
