So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
