She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
