apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
