At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well you can't waste a boner
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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