Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
