so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
