I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
