Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i was born a porn star she said
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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