Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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