just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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