I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
