my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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