she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
