Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
