I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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