btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
