Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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