thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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