Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
